Oh, the things you don't know

This is a "this is my husband" meme that I want to do (stolen from GolfWidow), but the husband is, in fact, dead set against releasing any personal information to anyone (not just on this blog-- in real life). Therefore, I will confuse my husband's answers to these questions with the answers from the imaginary husband ("Mr. Food Lady") my cat has. I'll let you puzzle out man from cat.

He is watching TV. What is he watching?
Talking heads (maybe the band, maybe not).


You're out to eat. What kind of dressing does he get on his salad?
Friskies classic pate. Sometimes bleu cheese.


What's one food this person doesn't like?
Friskies classic pate. Not ever not bleu cheese.


You go out to the bar. He orders ...
With apologies to the Dutch, Manhattan.


Where did he go to high school?
Ms. Thingy's Academy of Hissing and Pantlessness in Tumwater.


What size shoe does he wear?
(6 - 18)*3.5 +/- the square root of 4ac.


If this person were to collect anything, it would be ...
Books and wives (or vice-versa).


What is his favorite type of sandwich?
The kind that comes with bread.


This person could eat ______ every day.
This person does eat every day. It's crazy!


Favorite cereal?
Hill's KD trail mix.


This person wouldn't be caught dead wearing ...
A vest. He would like to die in a cravat, though.


Favorite sports team?
All sports teams are classified as either Phlyds, Tbones or Newmans. Right now, he's rootin' for the 'bones.


Who will he vote for?

Anyone but Palin (unless it's Michael). Jesus, even an imaginary cat can see that bitch is crazy. Lord make a way, my ass.


What is his sign?
He has two:




What is something you do that he wishes you didn't?
Ruffle his fur and tell him how cute he is.

How many states/counties has this person lived in?
2 States/4 Counties.

What is his heritage?
Welsh, German and Tabby.

You bake him a cake for his birthday. What kind do you bake?
I don't bake, so... Ooh, someone else brought cake? Cake! Caaaaaaaake! Cake please!
Caaaaaaaaake!

Did he play sports in high school?
He played scratching post in the band.

This person could spend hours ...
Sleeping. Wait, that's me. So, sleeping with me!

He wants a new ...
Catbox.

The CD I would probably find in his vehicle is ...
Comedy

What can you do that will guarantee a laugh from him?
I can't comment on the allegation that we smoke catnip.

Does he get along well with his family?
Everybody loves him. Everybody.

If money wasn't an option, I would buy him ...
...a monkey (haven't you always wanted a monkey?)