My mother and That Woman were in town this weekend, and we really need to get a drinking game together for their visits.

1. That woman says "Ich weiß nicht," take a sip.
2. That woman mentions the phrase "Shit, she's short" in reference to a marching band story from 22 years ago, take a sip.
3. Mother calls you by the wrong name, take a sip.
4. That woman says something racist, take a drink.
5. That woman appropriates a memory from your childhood that she was clearly not present for. take a drink.
6. That woman is rude to a cashier or a waitperson, take a drink.
7. That woman or Mother asks you a question where the answer is a lie, take a drink.
8. That woman or Mother asks why you don't have a blog, finish your drink and order another.

It's that last one that gets me. Every fucking time they see me, that woman has to declare her love for my writing and how it's such a shame I don't have a blog and why don't I have one. I suppose I could say that I do have one and that they can't read it, but then you have to get into the reasons why they can't read it and that's just too much talking. It's just easier to say I'm too busy.

Mom scared me a little by asking how one would find out who has a blog (because it's just that ignorance that lets me sleep at night), but K sort of mumbled Google and then said there really isn't a way because people tend not to post under their real names. I've already done a search and found that this doesn't come up when you Google my real name. Whew.

So, the drinking game. There are so many more to add-- feel free to add your own to comments. For those who haven't met her-- just make some up based on my stories. You'll probably be right.

Oh, sorry for not writing in so long. Quick update: I have three kidneys stones, my office has been moved to a different floor, Tbone is fine, I was on jury duty, and I spend most of my free computer time on Facebook now.

There, all caught up!