Leave him alone [Warning: contains sexual vulgarity]

Many people are demanding that Mayor Sam Adams step down because he lied about a relationship he had with an 18 year old legislative aide a couple years back. I wish I wish I wish everyone, especially the news, would just shut up and let him do his job.

Of course he lied about it; he's gay, he's a politician and it's sex.

How did this question even come up? How is it in any way relevant to the administration of the city? When did Portland suddenly become full of holier-than-thou prudes? His detractors have said it's not about the sex, it's about his lying. Really? Because no one has ever lied about sex before. And certainly no politician has ever lied to get into office. This situation is so unusual.

Seriously, here's a question for anyone who thinks the Mayor should step down:

What would you do if your mother asked you: Do you like a finger up your ass when you fuck?

Do you think, just maybe, you might lie about that? I mean, what business of it is hers? What if she asked you that at a press conference?

Feel free to leave your answer to that question in comments. I'll be happy to let your local paper know so they can update your mother.

Councilman Leviticus

I was swimming through some Chick Tracts earlier today, because I was bored and I'm a sucker for ridiculous, hyperbolic straw arguments with a multitude of footnotes. Here's one about the Ten Commandments (they're from the most proven book in history, you know). I especially like how bitter the teacher is. Chick tracts are a fun way to learn about all those pretty stories.

Exodus is good, with its ten plagues, and Genesis has that awesome story about Lot's daughters getting him drunk and having sex with him, but I always think of Leviticus whenever I read or hear people pointing to the bible to prove god or whatever, because it was obviously written by men, and usually with an axe to grind and terrible fear of women. It's like reading a Star Wars pop up book and then checking your bloodwork for midi-chlorians, or ecoding laws carved by a fiery shrubbery, discovered through E-meter or produced by an angel to be read from a hat.

It's just a bunch of rules about menus and property rights. It's like taking a bunch of county code, burying them for 1000 years and building a religion on that.