It's taken me 35 years

But I've finally realized that shoes really do make the outfit.

I continue to fail in new and ingenious ways

Seriously, it shouldn't be this difficult.

The alternatives include taking him on the bus to a vet appointment every other day, or hiring a tech to come over administer the fluids. Or putting him down, which my mother a bit too enthusiastically recommended.

But I can't get the fucking fluids into the dying cat. What. The Fuck. Is. My. Problem.

Things you may have read were I liveblogging the Olympic Opening Ceremonies but without the timestamps

Why does the prevailing costume design for the female athletes on parade seem to be 'legal secretary' or 'air hostess'?

The best job in the whole of the Olympics? The guy who gets to do the flag flinging during the raising of the Chinese flag:

This is what can happen when I don't have my iPod

I've had "Camptown Races" stuck in my head since about 3 yesterday afternoon.

The Eugene Levy version.

ETA: On the ride home from the bus today, it was "Dreidel Dreidel Dreidel: variations on a theme". You can get a pretty groovin' bass line if you try. Pret-ty, pret-ty groovin'.

Remember how I said the cat thing wasn't so bad?

Now every time I insert the needle and start the fluids, it comes out of other holes like Bugs Bunny full of buckshot.

I want to kick the table across the room and rip that fucking plastic bag apart with my teeth. I'm so frustrated I want to break every inanimate object I come across.

I'm going to call around to see if there are any vet techs I can hire to come do it for me, because I am obviously completely useless at most things.

Cat's doing better, I'm doing worse

Was finally able to deliver the phluids to the phlyd, so I'm not crying every ten minutes, and he seems to be eating all right. So, yay on that front.

But, our house got burgled this afternoon (while we were in it) and the gaddamn crap-ass ugly melon-ranching dipshit thieving motherfuckers took both iPods, the husband's phone and his wallet.

I guess we should be happy they didn't take the bigger score things, like our Wii and our Bose, but it's sometimes hard to see the silver lining on a shitty thing like this. We spent the evening cancelling credit cards and cell phone accounts and being really really frustrated. The assless fucktards managed to use the debit card to either buy a cell phone or pay a bill (in which case: good move, shitheads) and then they went all out and bought Tri-Met tickets.

So, master burgling artists these people are not, I'm thinking.

Still, though: FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKITY-FUCK FUCK FUCK.

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I have to give Phlyd 5 pills a day. I also have to give him subcutaneous fluids and I'm so scared of hurting him that I fuck it up every time. So I'm failing as a nurse and I can't get him to eat.

I just don't know what to do except cry.